Current Residence: New York|
Favourite genre of music: Many kinds
Favourite style of art: Anything and everything
Operating System: WIndows 7
Personal Quote: I Can I Will I Am
ColdWell hello there. It's been a while since we've last spoken hasn't it? Almost a full year, hmm? Have you done better for yourself?Cold by Rheebus
No, of course you haven't. You wouldn't be here if you were fine, which you never are and more than likely never will be. You with your abandonment problems. What are you, twelve? You're a fucking twenty-two year old, full grown adult with grown-up responsibilities. Why should you be trying to count on others to walk you through life when you're the only fucking one who can do it?
Why the FUCK to spend your days pining for things you will never have nor rightly deserve. Pathetic! I hate weaklings like you, little emotional worms that feed on the company of others and claim it gives you "strength."
Strength of what, exactly? With that strength what exactly have you accomplished? Ruining your children, damaging your familial relationships to the point it's a chore to get the actual help you need when you need it, there's so much distrust. Look at the messes y
UntitledHello again.Untitled by Rheebus
How are you feeling tonight?
Don't worry, I understand. You're feeling lonely and anxious. That's not an uncommon thing for you to feel. It comprises a majority of your emotional compass.
Well, that, and being angry with everyone who had anything to do with those last few years of your life. Those years you'll never get back.
Your mother won't stop treating your children like bargaining chips. Your ex husband and his fiance won't leave you alone about money troubles. You want out of the east coast, as far away from it as possible. There is nothing but bad memories here and the few good ones you do have aren't worth it.
Nothing is worth anything.
What's the point in trying? You work a full time job and for what? A debt you were stuck with that you don't pay. A college education you want but haven't saved for. What are you working for? There is nothing for you here. Would you leave if given the opportunity? Yes, you would.
Everyone thinks you should have the children. Every
Go EatAll you want to do right now is curl up into a ball and die.Go Eat by Rheebus
Dig up all the shit out of your closet-
Oh, a message from Torey.
She's cracking jokes about 2012 and the end of the world. Your face turns a hint of a smile, and you return to this written piece.
Dig up all the crap you have stored away in your closet, pull out all the clothes hanging up on them. Better yet, take those clothes, and pull them over yourself when you curl up in the corner and begin to cry yourself to sleep. No one will come to help you; your mother is hundreds of miles away and your ex husband will simply tell you to grow up. You could talk to your clanmates, but they're probably sick of all your bullshit anyway.
WHINE WHINE WHINE.
None of them are that fancy. Beer and vodka does just as-
Oh, another message from Torey. You will ignore it now for the sake of getting this piece written.
Outside, you can hear the sounds of a light breeze, of a kid skating down the sidewalk. Is it a kid skating down the sidewalk?
Go To BedYou are staring at your computer screen, fingers working fast on the keyboard to write what has been rushing through your head all night. A grin spreads across your face for a moment at the speed of your hands; your gaming friends don't call you The Rage Typer for nothing.Go To Bed by Rheebus
However, the merry thought is brief, remembering the whirlwind emotional cycle you've been driving through all night.
Where to begin?
When was the last time you smiled? No, for real. An hour ago when you were laughing at a joke does not count. Four months ago when you confessed to a person you've always considered to be one of your best friends that you liked him? Sure, you were on such an energy rush after the fact you were up for almost two days before you finally passed out in your ex husband's bed. Were you actually happy though?
Did not think so.
How about last summer, on the third morning after your new job at the summer camp? When your then-husband told you to prepare Zoey's things, that all of y